July 18, 2021

The things I would never say.

Once upon a time, a young woman, whose heart had been shattered and mind possessed by evil, fell in love with a kind, powerful and gentle young man. This young man, had potential unbound-less. Inevitably, he’d be a great influence on all lives he touched.

Yet. This young woman was poison. She knew deep in heart that her feelings were irrational, in truth, impractical. For, for him to reach his full potential, he would have to be unscathed. Purely untouched. His potential for greatness, even at its simplest form, touched and changed so many that it began to frighten him. He turned to the young woman, as a sense of support. If she alone could understand him, she did her best to make him feel confident and courageous.

Yet, it wasn’t enough. Those who sought other goals for the power he possessed had learned how to influence him; by making him feel insecure and dependent. He pleaded to feel different (in truth, he might’ve known his weakness already), but in-vain. Coming to the conclusion that the young woman would only cause him to be stagnant in his goals, he rid himself of her love forever, never to return.

She knew this was for the best. Yet… it changed her forever. In his greatness, she found hope for her own. In his pureness, she found honesty and truth. She could never be worthy, for she had already been tainted. The ideals she tried to possesses, only made her feel more alone. The changed happened gradually, as she didn’t even understand her own pain that she had possessed long before she had met the young man. Ideals of her independence and joy, were told to her that made her unworthy of loyalty and love. Every pain since, of trying to recreate her understanding of the young man, only made her more in pain. Only clearly defined her evil, unworthy self, to finally conclude her sense of aloneness is her purity of home.

Her father didn’t want her.

Her mother never understood.

This love was only temporary.

This hurt is built on good.

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