May 25, 2021

You know when you were a kid, you thought being an adult was so cool. You could drive a car, drink alcohol, go to bed whenever you want to, pretty much do whatever ya want? Then you actually became an adult and you realized its not all what it seems?

Just me? Okay, I know that not to be true. Today is one of those days when I realize that my responsibilities weigh a ton. Looking back, I always had a ton of responsibilities but as a kid they only affected me but now as an adult my responsibilities affect the world around me.

It’s not that I’m complaining. I love being busy; I’m a workaholic and enjoy stress. Every once and awhile though, it gets to me. I get agitated at the little things the people around me do to make my life more difficult, or frustrated that I’m running out of energy before I can finish my to do list. I live by my schedule, but have learned to be flexible when things come up. Yet, there’s always that one upset in the schedule I’ve made that sends me into “no good very bad day” vibes.

From looking for a new house, to getting my boyfriend’s car fixed, to being on-call this week with work, to daily chores and projects left to do and doctor appointments, vet appointments and planning visits out of state. I think I’ve spent more time working on getting things done then actually getting things done.

I miss my hobbies. I’d love to have more time to read and study, spend long hours at the library. I’ve been meaning to crochet and sew a lot more, yet my sewing machine hasn’t been unpacked from its box since I moved to Texas. I love to paint and want to create themed art work for the house, but don’t have the time. I’ve been wanting to build my gaming PC for over a year, but every time I get enough money, something prevents me (this time the car). When was the last time I went fishing or hiking? The sad thing is at the end of my to do list, I’m too tired to focus on my hobbies…so I’ve become a couch potato.

Is there such thing, as a year vacation?

Oh, yeah… retirement? Maybe.

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