Sanwementa ELVISH Q. noun. thought sending, mental message.
The end is where we begin. I guess it just goes to show I haven't made up for my past mistakes. My life still doesn't know how to "rain" or "gently sprinkle" it always storms. Raging storms of turmoil and hardship, a hurricane, a typhoon, an earthquake all in one. The sad truth is, I'm … Continue reading June 5, 2021
Ever since I could remember I’ve had medical problems. Under my parents care, they were convinced that most of my issues stemmed from some sort of “demonic pressence” and such things as my depression and anxiety could just be “prayed away”. It took a night for me to sit my mother down and literally beg … Continue reading June 2, 2021
Rollercoasters. I used to be so afraid of them. The idea of strapping myself down to a machine I had no control over, the possibility of breaks, going fast, upside or spinning. I was so deathly afraid of them. I would do everything in my power to avoid theme parks. Nothing in my rational or … Continue reading June 1, 2021
It’s amazing the way memory works. Sounds, sights, smells, all act as triggers for our mind to work its memory magic. Unfortunately they aren’t all pleasant memories. The struggle has always been to create a memory filter so one might only remember the good. For me, I so rarely have good things happen in my … Continue reading May 28, 2021
You know when you were a kid, you thought being an adult was so cool. You could drive a car, drink alcohol, go to bed whenever you want to, pretty much do whatever ya want? Then you actually became an adult and you realized its not all what it seems? Just me? Okay, I know … Continue reading May 25, 2021
I used to be a nightowl. So much so, that when I was homeschooled, I often would do most my work at night so that I could sleep in. After I moved out, it was no different. Since most of my gaming friends are in the UK or in Australia, my night times would be … Continue reading May 24, 2021
It’s not fun to deal with Major Depressive Disorder. Even worse, when all your triggers have to do with a happy, healthy home. Everything about my house makes me depressed. I always try to wake up motivated. Lately, its been close to impossible. I get up and do my stretches, get dressed to go downstairs … Continue reading May 23, 2021
"I’ve compiled a list of things that I learned in my youth that have help lead to my success not only as a person and member of society but also my strength as an independent adult.... All I know is, I owe a lot of gratitude to my mother for the life lessons she taught me. Yeah, she’s not perfect and it certainly hasn’t been the easiest relationship over the years. But she is worthy of my gratitude for these reasons and more, I’ll forever know how to tie my shoes, balance my check books and be a good citizen thanks to her diligence."
Today is just one of those days that I am overwhelmed by everything and too tired to do anything about it. My Apple Watch says I slept a total of 10h 40m, but only 1h of deep sleep. Not that I go by technology to tell me how to feel, but that 1h of deep … Continue reading April 26, 2021